If you really want to cook a butt, you keep the temperature low and roast it slow.

I’m talking about Boston Butts, and I am a bit biased — my father cooks them for fundraisers. Sure, you can fry, braise, broil, blacken, char, sear, and bake a roast. But you can’t beat a butt that’s been slow-cooked.

Enough “butt-puns.”

So much of our PR mindset is predicated on speed. Faster response, faster reflexes, faster spin. We forget how useful slow communication can be. Here’s an example of a new tactic:

I’ve written before about one of the quirks of a “bottomless internet:” the fact that nothing truly fades away anymore. Where you might be aware of things said about you during the news cycle, items that drift in days or weeks later can go unchecked and unchallenged.

So… use that dynamic to your benefit:

  1. Don’t link to the complaint. You’ll only draw attention to the original issue.
  2. Copy the complaint verbatim, then address it.
  3. Make your statement, keep it clean, and get out.
  4. Don’t address multiple complaints on the same page. Don’t even link to them together.
  5. Don’t use a blog, or any other of your instant channels. Use a web page in an area with low traffic, and don’t publicize it. Let the spiders find it. Then link to it, if necessary.
  6. Don’t use urls that are sequential or easy to guess.

The idea is to show up in the very same web searches as the original complaint — which you will, having the same keywords and phrases. By keeping one response to a webpage, you are not advertising any other complaints.

Thoughts, anyone?